Sunday August 10, 2020
This is a two part story: Big Don, Big John and Speed Dial Part one Big Don:
Distant from the city lights of Nashville, Tennessee I happened upon two colorful and larger than life characters. I met these two giants under completely different circumstances in the mid 1990’s and I can say with 99.9% confidence their paths never crossed. There was however, a distinct quality that, as I ponder on each of them, makes me wonder if they were, in fact, cut from the same cloth. One of these gentleman never married and lived the life of a back country bachelor. The other was married five times. I have heard that both of these men have since passed away, but they each left an imprint on my consciousness.
One of the highlights for our children each year was the annual All Church Retreat, held at the United Methodist Assembly in the beautiful mountains of Beersheba Springs, Tennessee. Our four children, three girls and one son, will all agree that The All Church Retreat and going to Beersheba Springs was better than even Disneyworld! The children had total freedom for the weekend. Four square, bonfires, hiking, volleyball, eating meals with their friends, and feverishly preparing skits for the Saturday night talent show, made for the times of their lives.
Have you ever been to Beersheba Springs? It is just passed Altamont, Tennessee and up the mountain from McMinnville. Beersheba Springs is a beautiful and small community. Their library is in a log cabin and their post office that looks much like my fourth grade class portable building. There are two markets along the main road, The Beersheba Market, and Big Don’s Market. As I think back, we we could actually walk to the Beersheba Market to buy candy or a Cokes. However, Big Don’s Market was a bit further and required a car ride.
It was the fall of probably 1996. I drove our brand new white Caravan, up, up, up to Beersheba on the scheduled Friday afternoon. I barely came to a stop when the excited children piled out of the caravan, ran up the steps of the assembly, into the quadrangle and played!
My son, Will, then age 6, had packed his own bag and as excited kids will do, forgot socks, toothbrush and a few other things. On Saturday afternoon, during the retreat’s rest hour, Will and I set off in the new caravan to see if Big Don’s market carried his needed supplies. My mother was also attending the retreat this yer and I let our girls know I would be back soon and to check in with “Mimi” or their dad if they needed anything while we took this quick errand.
(Now, a few background details need to be added here. First of all, during these years, my attorney husband was working, working, working. He drove up to Beersheba on Saturday morning in his own car. Berry is a man with a great sense of humor, but he is serious about his cars. Second, I have never, injured a person with a moving vehicle but let’s just say, Lyk Nu Body Shop continues to receive a holiday card from me each year.)
Will, hops in the van with me and off we went! Big Don’s Market did not disappoint! You could buy anything from M & M’s to ammunition! Big Don was indeed big. He ran the cash register as we checked out with socks and snacks. Big Don was friendly, loud and adept at rolling in a large rolling chair from his cash register to the many items on the wall behind his counter. He could pull a pack of Marlboro cigarettes out without even checking to see if he had mistakenly grabbed Newport’s. I was very impressed with his ability to juggle orders, keep the humor going and make change all in one smooth glide from one end of the counter to the other.
Will and I thanked Big Don and we climbed in the Caravan. We were excited to return to the goings on at the Beersheba Assembly. I put the van in reverse, hit the gas and then heard it. CRASH! Oh shit, what have I done? I looked back at the brand new Caravan back window and there was no more back window. My brain struggles to understand. I am instead looking at the vertical red steel beam holding up the awning to the gas pumps. I have made a perfect smash into the middle of the back door and window of our new Caravan.
Will and I immediately jump out, and I begin to cry over and over and over again, “Oh no! My husband is going to kill me!” I realize the crash is loud enough to get Big Don out of his rolling chair and into the parking lot. He is larger than life, yet he is smiling. Big Don: “Awwww, don’t you worry about this mam.” Me: “You don’t understand! This van is new! Look I still have temporary tags! All we needed were some socks!” Will: “Woah! Dad is going to be so mad!”Me: “Thank you Will. That is very helpful.”Big Don: “Is there someone I can call for you?”Me: “Well, I don’t think I have a divorce attorney on speed dial but do you have a Nashville phone book?” Big Don: “ Honey, (this was back before I was woke and didn’t know I should be offended) listen to me, and listen good, this here is a big mess but nobody is hurt and this van can be repaired. You listen to me because I know about divorce, I have been married five times!” Me, in my mind, momentarily forgetting about the wreck and speed dialing a divorce attorney. I am completely enthralled with this new information, “Big Don has been married five times! Holy cow! I need these details! Who? When? Why? Are you in the middle of number five or are you onto number six? Geez Beersheba must have a must larger population than I realized!…
Low and behold here comes Berry in his own car. Berry, “My God Celeste, what has happened?” Big Don explains. Will looks on, nodding in agreement with Big Don’s explanation of events and actually enjoying the ensuing drama. I do remember that Berry did try to remain calm, but you know that heat that comes off of someone when they are trying so hard not to be mad that you are pretty sure their whole body may ignite in flames at any second?I took a step back just in case.
We return to the assembly, I am still in tears. I feel dumb, upset and ridiculous. Word of my accident at Big Don’s spreads like wildfire as soon as Will Holt runs to tell EVERYONE in the United Methodist compound about our “errand and wreck”.
I retreat to our room still upset and wondering how to add speed dial to my flip phone. As I am drying my tears I hear my mother’s gentle knock on the door. She is so very sweet to stop by my room and check on me. I realize that for just a few minutes I don’t want to be the adult Me, “Hi mom.” Sniff, sniff.
Mom, very lovingly, “Lestie. You Okay?”
Me: “Well, I don’t know, the van is wrecked and Berry said, “My God, Celeste..” and why don’t boys pack socks?
Mom: “Lestie, you know what?”
Ahh the joy of your mother’s consolation, even when you are upset. I lean into her.
Me, “What mom?”
Mom, with great knowing, “Berry is the way he is because he is on the cusp.”
Me, in my mind, “This isn’t feeling like consolation…”
Me, aloud, “Mom, I have had a hard day. What are you talking about?”
Mom, “You know his birthday is January 19? He is born on the last day of the sign of Capricorn, this is the cusp of his astrological sign. He is actually in a constant an astrological conundrum…struggling between two signs.”
And for the second time today all I can think to say is, “Thank you, this is helpful.”
The Chocolate Drawer 